Midlife Friendship
Some of the best conversations in our community start with a member saying “I’ll tell you how ________ actually went, then ask me anything.” In October, Jennifer Brilliant and Kelly Lindsey did exactly that. They’ve been friends for twenty-two years even though they never lived in the same city. Learn about the weekly ritual that sustains their friendship in the replay below followed by some concrete advice, a few reflection questions for you, and some crowd-sourced reading recommendations.
Table of Contents
Highlights
Jennifer and Kelly met in 2004 at a yoga training and bonded over a shared experience. For the next fifteen years, their friendship lived in the gaps of their two incredibly full lives.
The turning point came in 2019, when Kelly asked Jennifer to be her Annual Clarity Retreat buddy. They met weekly and worked through each step of ACR together. When it ended, they didn’t want to stop, so they didn’t. Seven years later, the weekend coffee call is their standing weekly ritual.
What holds their friendship together? Treating their weekly coffee hour as a priority and being creative about everything else.
They took questions about attachment styles, getting off social media and into real networks, and how to start a friendship in midlife when it feels like everyone’s already paired off.
Kelly’s answer to that last one was the line of the hour: there is really no better way to get to know somebody than doing the Clarity Retreat together, because you cover every area of your life.
Questions to Sit With
Who in your everyday life would you like to know better than you do?
What’s one ritual you could create with a friend, and what would you have to do to protect it?
What’s keeping you from creating or deepening your midlife friendships?
When you picture the friendships you want at fifty, sixty, seventy, or eighty, what do they look like?
What can you do this week to start or strengthen a friendship?
Crowd-sourced reading
From the AMA chat:
Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make--and Keep--Friends byMarisa G. Franco
The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center by Rhaina Cohen
Why It’s So Hard to Make Friends After 40 by Catherine Sanderson
Ready to do the Annual Clarity Retreat LIVE in December?
Every December, we do the Clarity Retreat together: live sessions, facilitation, and a buddy to work through it with. This year, bring your own buddy. Think of a friend you’d like to know better, send them the link to this page, and ask them to do the December retreat with you. We begin the live round on December 9th. Between now and then, the only thing to do is ask.
Frequently asked questions
-
No. There are several ways to complete the Clarity Retreat. Some people do it on their own, self-paced during the year. The live version in December is our membership community’s annual ritual, so we do it together in live co-working sessions. For anyone who wants a buddy and doesn’t have one, we do a buddy-match at the beginning of the live session.
-
Yes. The live December Clarity Retreat is the best first time there is to participate. It’s facilitated by Kerry Ann Rockquemore, PhD. and there’s a large, active and supportive community participating in the retreat. Your friend will need to register to join live and the self-paced version is open to anyone, anytime.
